How Well Does Your Relationship Work for You?

I remember meeting someone, years ago, who proudly stated that her husband had never once seen her without her makeup perfectly intact. She was always showered, coiffed and beautifully dressed in his presence. When I asked if that was not an exhausting way to live she agreed that it was; getting up before he awoke everyday and anticipating his movements was a full-time preoccupation, but that was how she felt she should be. That was how their relationship worked.I doubt if many of us, of either gender, would be prepared to live like that. It sounds stressful and not real life. But I’m guessing that many of us will have things that we choose to keep private and not share with our partners. There will be certain things that we prefer to conceal through a desire to maintain some mystique or not become too vulnerable. We find the right ways to make our relationship work for us.- It’s often the case that we have different personas for different areas of our lives. When we’re at work, with friends, family or at home we may find that we behave in rather different ways. Our partner may never see the side of us that gossips, complains, gets angry, as we may limit that behaviour to arenas deemed more appropriate. Our genius in some areas of life may potentially be our curse in others; taking home the highly-organised, fastidious approach we get paid well for at work might cause mayhem if we try it with the family! It’s determining what works and is appropriate.

- The bathroom can be a no-go area for sharing in some relationships. Whilst some people don’t mind who breezes in on them whilst they’re on the toilet or in the bath, for others it’s their personal time. Or they may wish for certain exercise routines or beauty treatments to be undertaken in private, perhaps out of embarrassment or from the simple desire to have a little personal space. We don’t need to reveal everything about ourselves in order for our relationship to work well.- For some people having a great relationship means never arguing, whilst others love having a fight, clearing the air and making up afterwards. In order to progress though, disagreements and arguments need to be handled respectfully.If one person goes quiet and won’t talk or shouts, hurls insults and refuses to listen it can be very damaging to a relationship. Most adults can cope with opposing points of view; they try to understand and accommodate why the person feels the way they do. Agreeing to disagree may be a suitable outcome, where both sides shake hands and acknowledge that they’re unlikely to ever win the other over. But there’s an appreciation that each is entitled to their own opinion and that often works well.Adopting good listening skills, applying empathy and understanding enables a relationship to evolve and move forward. Keeping channels of communication open is important. Being keen to have regular conversations about real life stuff also matters, rather than internally sighing and turning away from the phone or TV screen. If time is constrained in the week it might be good to set aside a little time before dinner or bed to have half an hour’s catch-up where you enjoy each other’s news and discuss your thoughts and feelings. Invest in your relationship at weekends too and maybe consider a regular date night.- Relaxed dressing can be an important part of being in a good committed relationship. Many people love coming home from work and changing into ‘something more comfortable’, though they’re rarely referring to attractive, alluring attire – it’s usually more about tracksuits and sweatshirts. It’s great to be at ease with someone and be able to kick off your shoes, but it’s important not to let standards slip too far.

Being relaxed is all well and good, but it’s also important to keep on top of personal hygiene by showering regularly and looking after your health and oral hygiene. Enjoy opportunities to dress up and look nice reasonably often. Remember this is the person you were once so keen to impress. Look after your weight, wellbeing and appearance and continue to take a pride in yourself. When you take care of you and feel good about yourself everyone benefits.We may look enviously at others with their ginormous diamond engagement rings and perfect lifestyles. Goodness knows how much those rings cost! But would you really exchange the tiny diamond chip in your ring for something flashier? It’s travelled with you through the highs and lows of your relationship and was probably bought when you were both starting you life together. When you look at your ring you can really see what that tiny stone represents about your journey together, how far you’ve come. It’s your story that matters and the way your relationship works well for you.

Make Memorable Photo Treasures From Ordinary Moments – 10 Tips

Did you ever wish you had photos of the last time you and your Mom had dinner together? Do you remember when you and your grandmother were sitting together talking about her younger days? Do you remember when you and your children were coloring together?

We always remember to bring our cameras and take photos at graduations, weddings, and birthdays, and what about those ordinary experiences that are the source of our richest memories?

Where are those photo memories? Do you find it frustrating when you see other photos from your friends of their special moments? Would you like to be one of those people who always have photos of those daily living moments of the people you love?

You do not need to struggle any longer. Here is how you can successfully photograph and document special ordinary moments with the people you love.

First and more importantly, always carry your camera, charge it, and use it.

Remember, the people you are photographing will act more naturally once they see your camera and you begin taking photos of the surroundings or setting for the scene. Always take more photos than you think is necessary for those less than stellar ones.

While taking photos of the people involved, always take multiple shots of the scene, before during, afterward since many people are light-sensitive and often blink – especially if there are multiple people in the scene. My mother is light-sensitive; therefore, I always take a minimum of three photos with her in the scene for this reason.

Here are my ten tips on how you can make ordinary photos into memorable photo treasures.

1. Cradle your grandparent, parent, or child’s hand in yours and take a close-up photo of only your hands together.

I do not have this type of photo with my Dad before he passed and I do have one with my grandmother and my Mom.

2. Take photos when loved ones are saying hello and goodbye. This makes a loving moment last forever.

For example, recently I took photos of my brother leaning over to hug my Mom and in the series, they were before, during, and afterward and then I chose the best of them; the most tender one with their faces side-by-side and my brother’s hand on her back.

3. Take portrait photos of your loved ones capturing their lifelong beauty at different times during their lifetime. It is always nice to look at the changes over time and we always appreciate our photos of our younger days.

Because I am an avid photographer, I have a long list of photos of my Mom from a variety of activities, events, parties, and ordinary times and it is wonderful to see her life unfold through my photos.

4. You can take photos of your family and friends at breakfast, lunch, or dinner anytime to document your experiences. Take them before the meal and in groups of people around the table. Make sure everyone is included (the photographer too!). The cook/chef will feel proud too!

5. You can capture photos of people milling around the kitchen where everyone tends to congregate doing ordinary chores or merely conversing.

The children can complain later when they always had to wash the dishes – there is the photo to prove it!

6. If you snap photos of the family doing ordinary things, such as reading a book, watching a movie or TV, snacking on popcorn together, playing games or with toys, reading the newspaper or a magazine, working on the computer, there will be a document of how they spent their days.

7. Take photos of people doing their hobbies, playing music, dancing, singing, tinkering, building things, working on things, gardening, painting/drawing, knitting/crocheting/sewing, etc. It is important to document their creation process with several shots. This is the most often overlooked photo of your family.

My Dad was handy around the house and he was always tinkering with cars and he could fix or repair anything, yet, we have only one photo of him working on a car engine.

8. You can make great family memories with photos of someone bringing the food to the table, not only at Thanksgiving, and on ordinary days with favorite family meals from a favorite recipe.

I have several photos of my Mom and my sister bringing great meals to the table, which also documents their cooking abilities.

9. Children playing games outside and with toys in the house are always a fun photo memory.

My Dad took some photos of us playing at the park when we were very young and they are more special than big event photos.

10. Pet photos can be humorous and entertaining even when they are posing, sleeping, begging for treats, playing with other pets and children, walking, and eating. They never complain and are never camera-shy.

My dogs, Fuzzy and Romeo, pose quite naturally and always look adorable to me no matter what they are doing and I am grateful for my photos of them.

Years from now, you will treasure these timepiece memories and you will wish that you had more of them. Begin now; you can make ordinary photos into memorable photo treasures with these tips. Enjoy your memories!

Facebook Privacy and Your Photos

With all the changes to Facebook Privacy and the new photo viewer, it’s hard to tell just who can see your photos and what they can do with them. In this post I will explain what you need to know about the new photo viewer and how people can download and possibly print your photos. I will also outline how to change your Facebook Privacy settings to give you complete control over who sees your photos and what they are allowed to do with them.

The New Photo Viewer

The new photo viewer on Facebook provides users with a very different way to view photos than the old version. When you click on a photo or album, a photo viewer pops up so that looking at someone’s photos becomes your main focus. Not only is there a pop up display that grabs your intention, but your profile is also grayed out behind the photo viewer so that all of your attention is on the photo you are looking at. As someone who can easily be distracted by the many ads and links on Facebook that can divert your attention, I personally like the new way to view photos. As with any new change on Facebook, there will always be some people who appreciate the change and others who don’t like it or even hate it. Therefore, I think it’s best to lay out the facts so that you can form your on opinion as well as make informed decisions about how you want to use Facebook from now on.

Features of the New Photo Viewer

  • The name of the album and who created it is located under the photo on the left side.
  • You can “Like” a photo or leave a comment under it.
  • You can tag, share, download, or report the photo.
  • You can look through the photos in an album by either clicking on the photo or using the forward and backward arrows.
  • When you’re finished looking at photos, click the white X located in the upper right corner of the photo viewer.

If Someone Can See a Photo They Can Print It Likewise, if you can see a photo you can print it. Each photo has a “Download” or “Download This Photo” button in the lower left corner below it. All you have to do is click on this button and choose the location on your hard drive where you want to download and save the photo. From there you can upload the photo to any online photo printer and get a copy.

While this may seem surprising to some of you, the truth is that even before this “Download” button was made available, anyone that could see a photo could still download and save it by right clicking on the photo and selecting “Save As”. They could also print a copy of the photo once it was saved on their hard drive.

You have always been able to download and save a photo from Facebook and then print it, but now Facebook provides a “Download” button to make it easier and more obvious for people who didn’t realize it before.

What You Need to Consider First

Before you start worrying about what people may do with your photos, I want you to step back and think for a moment about the chances that someone is going to print a photo that they are just looking at and have no personal interest in (i.e. they are tagged in the photo or were at the event). Unless you are a photographer with interesting photos, then people probably aren’t going to want to print your photos. As I said previously, they could also download and print them before Facebook updated the photo viewer.

If you don’t want someone to print an embarrassing photo of you such as that crazy photo from spring break, then it’s safe to say you don’t want them to see it either. Use the guidelines below to change your Privacy Settings.

How to Change Your Facebook Privacy Settings

So as you probably have realized by now, the only way to prevent someone from downloading and printing your photos is to block them from being able to see them. In this section of the post I will outline how to do this.

Photos You Post

  1. Go to “Account” in the upper right corner of Facebook then “Privacy Settings”.
  2. Click on “Customize Settings” in blue in the middle of the page.
  3. Beside “Posts by me” under “Things I share” click on the drop down menu where you can choose from Everyone, Friends and Networks, Friends of Friends, Friends Only, and Customize.
  4. If you don’t like any of the other options, click on Customize where you can choose to whom to make photos visible and/or who to hide them from.

Photos You Are Tagged In

  1. Go to “Account” in the upper right corner of Facebook then “Privacy Settings”.
  2. Click on “Customize Settings” in blue in the middle of the page.
  3. Beside “Photos and videos I’m tagged in” under “Things others share” click on the drop down menu where you can choose from Everyone, Friends and Networks, Friends of Friends, Friends Only, and Customize.
  4. If you don’t like any of the other options, click on Customize where you can choose to whom to make photos visible and/or who to hide them from.

Your Albums

  1. Click on the album and under the photos click “Edit Album Info”.
  2. From there you can click on the drop down beside “Privacy” under “Edit Info”.
  3. Choose from Everyone, Friends of Friends, Friends Only, and Customize.
  4. If you don’t like any of the other options, click on Customize where you can choose to whom to make photos visible and/or who to hide them from.

I hope this post was helpful and I look forward to reading your comments!